BONNY M. FETCH

My Ultimate Goal Is Meditation

by | Jun 1, 2020

Hearing the words “you have cancer” is devastating on all levels. I am a perfectionist, a hard worker, and I strive for excellence. These personality characteristics and the highly stressful jobs I held for forty-two years were not without cost, chiefly to my health. In 1990, I had surgery to remove a lung due to a rare, untreatable form of cancer.

This was not only a physical blow, but it shook me emotionally and psychologically as well. I had complications which nearly cost me my life! But even though I finally recovered, I knew that if the cancer returned, there would be no treatment, so I set my sights on finding ways to heal myself.

I have pursued many avenues of healing throughout my life. As a mental health therapist, I was trained in biofeedback and autogenics therapy, both of which were useful to help me to relax and deal with stress. Following my cancer surgery, I underwent a healing ceremony in the Arizona mountains from a Zuni medicine man and another healing ceremony in Pine Ridge, South Dakota, from a Lakota medicine man. Indescribable – and not for the faint of heart!

I also sought the help of a shaman, a Mexican woman healer, as well as receiving healing from Hanna Kroeger, a well-known herbalist and powerful healer. These experiences helped me come to terms with the emotional and psychological trauma caused by the cancer, and helped me find a healthy, positive path forward. 

I wanted to take healing into my own hands, so I became a Reiki Master and Healing Touch practitioner, and now it’s been over 30 years. These have been my mainstays for health. I had never tried yoga, but out of the blue one day the thought kept popping into my head that I should ‘try yoga’.

And that very evening on one of my frequent drives with my sister and my dog, we passed a yoga studio – it seemed like it was meant to be! I started going to yoga classes, and then completed yoga teacher training in October 2017. Now I particularly enjoy teaching chair yoga and yoga for seniors. I’ve been very active as a teacher and typically teach 5-6 classes a week, including the local Cancer Center. I am also one of the co-founders of the North Dakota Yoga Conference. 

I found that my ultimate goal is meditation. Even though I read about all sort of techniques, studied various texts, viewed online methods, practiced, and even taught meditation, I found it hard to actually achieve. Maybe I was trying too hard? Or expecting too much? But it did not come easy for me. Then I experienced a couple of yoga nidra classes and liked them very much, finding it a great vehicle to reach a meditative state.

I began to research for a good course to take. I once heard a bit of wisdom that said something like, “when you are ready, a teacher will appear.” In this case, the teacher happened to be Jennifer Reis. I subscribed to her online newsletter and from everything I read about her, I felt that she was the teacher who would help me understand meditation at its various levels.

I finally got the opportunity when Jennifer offered her Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Teacher Training Online in April 2020. Jennifer is a master teacher, super knowledgeable, genuine, patient, she cares that her students are ‘getting it’. She has a soothing voice, just perfect for guiding meditation, and a winning smile!

I have been practicing Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra on my own and attending Jennifer’s live online classes, as well as guiding a few friends through the practice. It’s hard to explain, but I feel that I am finally able to let go of the need to make it a perfect practice, and just be, making meditation less of a struggle, and more enjoyable.

The benefits are huge! I feel calmer, and I’m not so quick to react to things. I feel I’m much more positive, even in this worrisome COVID time. My sleep is improved and I have fewer bad dreams. The things that would ordinarily drive me crazy before really don’t bother me as much.

I sometimes wish I had learned yoga much earlier in my life, but then I more than likely would not have had time for the other things I have done. I would not have wanted to give any of them up. No, I would not change a thing.  

LAURIE TENZER

First Online Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Teacher Training A Success!

by | Apr 30, 2020

Two years ago at age 65, I decided to embark on a new career. Most people retire at that age. I wanted instead, to start a new adventure! I was born a teacher – my mother and her four sisters were all teachers, as well as my sister – it’s in my blood! I have taught many disciplines and in many environments throughout my lifetime including ballet, corporate training, and college web design professor. And now, my life is all yoga all the time!

Thus, I began to teach a yoga nidra classes each week at our local studio. I always loved the way people feel soooo good after a session! But mostly I loved that I was helping people transform their lives. Yet, I did not feel very confident myself, because I had no formal education in yoga nidra, although I have been practicing yoga for the last twelve years. I started when I lived in Hawaii for over two decades. In the beginning, yoga was just ‘exercise’ for me that helped manage Crohn’s Disease which is a chronic illness.

My more in-depth and serious journey into the yoga universe began when I took my 200-hour teacher training in 2018 in Venice, Florida, where I live now. My final project was to lead a yoga nidra community class. I wanted to learn so much more about it because the meditative effects could only be a benefit to helping manage my disease. I bought books and scoured the web for information about yoga nidra. Having experienced it only once prior, I did not know what I truly needed to learn. I found several styles of yoga nidra, and tried to compile lessons on my own based on that information. What I really needed was the structure and guidance of a yoga nidra expert.

During the past couple of years, I noticed that Jennifer has been visiting Tampa regularly each year and I wanted to sign up for her Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Teacher Training at the beautiful Lotus Pond Studio. There was never a good time to fit it into my schedule.

I was so fortunate to at least be able to attend her 1.5 hour workshop there this year. Her workshop helped me since it was the first time in about a year that I had an opportunity to take a live class, as I was always teaching it.

Fast forward to Covid-19 in March, I was thrilled to see that Jennifer offered her Divine Sleep® Yoga Teacher Training live-online! This was my opportunity! And I did not have to wait until next year!

Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Teacher Training was transformational for me! Jennifer recommended that as practitioners, but especially teachers, it should be practiced every day. I’ve finally set up a home practice space with my mat, pillows, bolster and eye pillow, for my own daily yoga nidra practice. I’ve found that my daily Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra practice has been a tremendous help with managing my Crohn’s symptoms. Now I have far more confidence in my teaching skills so that I can much more effectively help others, including Kids Classes.

ANN MILLER

My Compassion Rejuvenated

by | Jan 28, 2020

In 2015 I came back from the Ebola response in West Africa if not actually broken, then with spiderweb cracks across my sense of ‘self’. As an infectious disease epidemiologist by training, I headed out to help understand this virus. Giving my heart, education and time in what turned out to be a shared global-control effort, felt to me like it was the entire point of my existence.

All of the time and money spent on my education, research and ethics courses, and all of the global health work I’d done in other places, were my preparation to getting on the plane – then the boat across the darkened bay in the moonlight — to what I would find in Freetown, Sierra Leone.

My work was in research was not as stressful as many of my colleagues, many of whom were from Sierra Leone, or worked internationally to provide health care. It was not I who was treating patients through space-suit-like protective gear, observing death by the thousands, nor needed to monitor my every movement for lapses in protection that might lead to infection. Luckily, those were not my risks.

However, for all of us, the days were long, sleep was in short supply, and fear of this deadly illness about which we knew nowhere nearly enough, made us short-tempered. The stress of putting so much of one’s heart, feelings and self into the effort while people continued to die was extremely difficult. I’m happy to say there were many successfully treated patients.

I was not my best self by any stretch of the imagination. I felt deep rage, because of my perception that so many people could have been saved if poor countries had the basic hospital equipment so readily available in affluent countries. I felt deep grief also because strangely enough, this virus spread through the contact and mechanism of human kindness — the contact of a parent caring for their sick child; the care one’s beloved offering to them when they are ill; the contact and care a nurse gives a patient who is their responsibility. This was how it spread and so, of course, the caregivers were among the first to contract it.

I returned home with my sense of compassion blunted. Anxiety overwhelmed me and I found myself unable to sleep. Rage bubbling just below my semi-calm surface. I experienced facial tics, and crying jags, but the loss of compassion felt the worst. Perhaps because that was how I had defined myself in many ways, and how others saw me.

But back home, I couldn’t ‘care’ at all. I couldn’t access anything. Going to Kripalu had helped me in the past in times of distress. The peace, generosity, and focus I find there is balm when I am in need. I returned to Kripalu and, in a coaching session with Aruni, she suggested I check out Jennifer Reis’ Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra CDs. And they worked!

I slept beautifully there. I brought them home and listened to them in bed, as I tried to drift off. When I’d awake at night, I’d listen some more. And they worked.

They worked!

They still work.

I’m not a regular practitioner of yoga and frankly, only a tourist in the realm of meditation. I felt my heart is rarely open to the degree I see in others around me at Kripalu. As everyone, I too am a work in progress. But wonderfully, miraculously, none of that matters. Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra works for me too! Data-driven, and cranky skeptic though I am.

Now it’s been five years, and for these past five years, Jennifer has talked me into calm, deep rest, openness, and also to sleep in all of the places I work—Rwanda, Madagascar, Guatemala, Peru, Lesotho, Sierra Leone, and in the US.

Now I sleep well again, and with that as ground work for my physical health, I’ve regained my sense of self and been able to access my source of compassion again. I know that I have to take care of my own heart in order to open it to others or the work that I do. A few weeks ago I was at Kripalu and Jennifer led a yoga class I attended. She was wonderful, calm, gentle, funny, and kind. These are my words of gratitude, Jennifer. Your work has helped lead me back to myself, and I am so thankful.

CHERYL MCBRIDE

Perfect No Longer Matters

by | Dec 23, 2019

I spent many years of my life striving for perfection. I wanted the perfect house with the pristine yard, perfect car, perfect outfits, and the perfect job. I exhausted myself with making all things perfect. Everything was neat and orderly – there was a place for everything – and everything was in its place. My ‘A-type’ personality fed into that desire for perfection.

I struggled for years to rest into greater ease and joy and drop the need to be perfect in all things. I questioned my purpose and passion in life. I often wondered if I would ever find what it seemed like others had and seemed to be missing for me. One day would I be living my dream with a fulfilling purpose and career?

I muscled my way through life, striving for the perfect outcome. I didn’t have a sense of grace or ease. I thought that was just what I was supposed to do in life, and I was never taught any differently. I also had a ‘false sense’ of control. It allowed me to believe I had control over all situations in my life.

Until one day, about nine years ago, when my husband and I received devastating news that he had been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. All of my time and attention were suddenly focused on him and his illness to do everything possible to restore his health. Sadly, after a year-long battle with cancer, he passed away.

When that happened, I fell into a very dark place. However, life doesn’t stop. I am a mom, and I had a job and responsibilities: taking care of my children, our house, paying bills, and I needed to show up, even though all I wanted to do was run and hide!

While I was trying to establish my ‘new normal’ in my life, another unimaginable event occurred. Hurricane Sandy ravaged our home on the Jersey shore. We were rendered homeless! Wow! That abruptly put things into perspective, creating a new lens and view of my life.

Having things perfect no longer mattered! I realized that I certainly could not use my old habitual way of muscling my way through this level of devastation and loss. I truly learned that my sense of control was absolutely a myth.

Knowing that I needed support and guidance, I sought counseling. My counselor suggested that I find an outlet because I did not have mental clarity. I was in a constant state of ‘fight or flight’ and not sleeping well.

This is when I discovered the beautiful practice of yoga and meditation. It allowed me to get outside of my head – and into my body. My very first class started a beautiful journey for me, and one that I am still following to this day. Originally, I had begun to practice yoga for the physicality of it, but then something happened… I began to notice internal shifts: a greater sense of happiness, a calmer mind, connection, and internal peace – all the things I had been searching for.

I didn’t know much about yoga, and I became like a sponge, wanting to soak it all up and learn as much as I could. I attended all types of classes and workshops. I loved it! Meditation became a staple in my daily life. I became a certified yoga teacher in 2015. And this year, I began a Mindfulness/Meditation Teacher training. During training, we practiced yoga nidra and I was intrigued and wanted to know more. I tried a few classes, and because it’s a form of meditation, it was natural to study it more in depth.

I researched online and I was excited to find Jennifer’s Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Teacher Training! As luck had it, my local yoga studio was hosting her. The minute I saw it, I signed up – I was in!

Only a few months later, I stepped into my very welcoming studio, with like-minded and soulful individuals. I felt totally at home and my heart was lit up! I loved every bit of the training.

During meditation studies, I had learned a bit about the five koshas, but Jennifer dove deeper into the concepts, and made the picture clear for me, allowing me to understand why Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra is such a transformational practice. I also understand why I felt so connected to this practice. I find it transforms me. It allows me to peel away the layers to get to my whole self – my true self – and my heart’s true deep desires. I feel healed.

Now, I find that I enjoy practicing yoga nidra as much as I love teaching it. I love creating a beautiful space for my students to fully embrace this practice. In one of my recent classes, a student came up to me afterwards and hugged me. She shared how relaxed she became while I was leading the Divine Sleep. She told me she couldn’t believe it, because it was difficult for her to calm her mind-chatter as she had a constant ‘to do’ list going through her mind. She thanked me for guiding her. It touched my heart knowing that I was able to pass along this transformational healing and relaxation.

I have several of Jennifer’s CD’s and practice regularly. It always intrigues me that somewhere in the body scan that I unconsciously float away. The practice is so nurturing and lovely.

I can honestly say it was a true gift to have been taught by Jennifer! She is a gifted teacher, and her love of the practice shines through her care. I am happy to play a small part in the ripple effect of making the world a happier, gentler place through the teaching of Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra.

What I have recently discovered is that I am already living my purpose and passion! And that they’ve been here all along for years. I just needed to become still enough to connect with my inner-self to confirm that I am exactly where I am supposed to be now, in this moment. I know now that my heart is the happiest when I connect with others through the practices of meditation and yoga.

BETH LEWIS

The Best Sleep in Eleven Years!

by | Dec 1, 2019

I practiced yoga on and off during my adult life, however never as a steady practice. In 2008 my husband died after eighteen months of terminal bone marrow cancer called multiple myeloma. We’d been married almost fifteen years, and I was left with four children, two grown and two still at home. Suddenly becoming an only parent and surviving on one income instead of two presented a host of challenges.   My older kids were a huge support to me, taking the younger two children out on “sibling days” to give them time together, and to give me time alone.

I put all my energy into making sure my kids were okay: taking them to therapy and support groups; making sure they made it to all their activities; making sure homework was done etc. I put them before me, and my own physical and mental health began to suffer. My husband had been a very well-known basketball coach in the community. It was hard to go anywhere without running into someone who knew him. Somehow, I was in a constant state of consoling others, rather than getting the support I needed for myself.

Beth and Dave

In fact, my kids nurse practitioner used to call to check on me regularly. One day when I said I was ‘reaching the end of my rope’ she told me I needed to start taking care of myself, or I wouldn’t be able to take care of the kids anymore. That hit home for me so I started therapy myself and made exercise a regular part of my routine.

Participating in therapy, support groups, and a wonderful in-person and online widow network called soaring spirits international, helped me immensely through my grieving process. Eventually I began a steady yoga practice and found yet another level of healing. Movement and breath allowed me to release grief from my body that I didn’t even realize I was holding onto.

Yoga provided me with a wonderful physical outlet that I had not found in any other forms of exercise or yoga. Also a steadying of my mind so crucial to my healing. At the time I didn’t really understand why, but I know I cried through not only hip openers but many other portions of practice for a good nine months.

My kids and grandkid!

Widowhood throws a huge monkey wrench into everything and yoga also provided me with a level of social support. Couples no longer want to include you when you are alone, and I didn’t always feel comfortable around divorced friends. Most people have no clue what to say. Yoga allowed me to interact on my own terms.

I was practicing in a room full of people, but wonderfully I could be alone and inward at the same time. Once practice started it was just me and my mat.  Gradually getting to know people of all different ages allowed me to build a new support system. My youngest daughter also practices yoga and it became something new we could share during this trying time.

I completed my 200-hour yoga teacher training, and continued with more yoga trainings. I became interested in the use of yoga to work through the grief process and I presented nationally at a conference hosted by soaring spirits. As I continued to both study, practice and teach, I was able to move forward in my own healing process. Over the past few years I have undergone five major surgeries, and found my yoga practice to be crucial to my recovery in each of them.

Vancouver, BC, Canada

One thing that continued to be a huge stumbling block to me, as well as many widows I know, is insomnia. For the past eleven years I have cycled through some really difficult spells having minimal sleep, which greatly affecting my work and personal life. I have practiced meditation on and off with yoga, and although it helped me to sleep better to some extent, there were still many nights where sleep eluded me.

About nine months ago I was introduced to yoga nidra which in my training was suggested as a tool for helping with veterans and first responders. In the short trial practice of yoga nidra during training, I found that I experienced a level of calmness and a feeling of restoration that I often lacked, even on the nights that I did sleep. I was quickly convinced yoga nidra was a tool I needed. For myself as well as for my students, particularly my grieving community.

I found Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra first on the Insight Timer app. Then I searched and found that Jennifer was bringing her teacher training to my area, and was extremely excited to enroll and learn more about this specific form of yoga nidra.

Jennifer’s training was all I could have asked for and more! She is a phenomenal speaker and presented the information in such a great easy to understand way. There was lots of hands on practice and that solidified the learning. Her course manual is a great and informative tool.

However, what I found most amazing, was that within the first two days of the training, I was getting the best sleep that I had had in the past eleven years! Yoga nidra offers me an ability to clear my mind, and find restoration and rest in the midst of a busy day. Jennifer’s cd’s are a wonderful tool that I use any time of day, providing varying lengths of practices.

Me now!

Even in a short time it has brought me a new awareness and connection with my body. I feel aware and connected with my breath in a new way. I am confident that I have a new tool to use on days when my mind is swirling, and when I am afraid that I am not going to be able to sleep. It has also given me a new level of confidence as a yoga teacher that i now have an additional means to help others.

I am so inspired to take this tool into my yoga community to share this powerful practice to those who need it. Right after the training I jumped in and led a short Divine Sleep® practice with a group of middle-school girls, began leading it in my adult-weekly yoga class, and provided a one-on-one session to a friend who lives with several chronic illnesses including ongoing insomnia.

I am excited to see how much people love this Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra, and how eager they are to participate! I have planned upcoming workshops at the studio where I teach, and hope to make it a regular event. I am sincerely grateful to Jennifer for this training and for how Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra has helped me move into yet another level of healing.