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jen yoga beach
RJ Lisander
I Found Balance with Divine Sleep®

I was 38 and worried sick that Monday afternoon. The previous Friday, my husband of twelve years had texted to inform me he that he was canceling the three-day weekend that we had been planning. Instead, he was going to travel by himself to an undisclosed location for an indeterminate period of time.

Then, I heard nothing more from him. In the thick silence of the next three days, I went through all the emotions … disbelief, worry, grief, anger, bargaining with a God I did not normally pray to, grief, anger, bargaining, disbelief, and then more worry.

At 4:01 pm that Monday afternoon, I heard his car in the driveway. These emotions gripped me all at once and I froze. The door opened, and the first words he said were – I want a divorce.

Those four simple words threw me so off balance. I thought our marriage was solid enough to weather any storm. And our love, forever. I entered into what I can only describe as a disembodied state.

In the year that followed, I went through the motions of living. I also dealt with lawyers and the slew of questions from others and the lack of answers from my husband. I was negotiating the end of one life while navigating the beginning of a new one. To say that I struggled is an understatement.

Countless sleepless nights, 30-lost pounds, and an unraveled career later, I took the advice of my 200-hour yoga teacher-training instructor and mentor and looked into a retreat at Kripalu. That led me to a yoga therapy certification – a journey where I not only met and built friendships with amazing people, I learned and… I began to heal.

So much of that healing process began with the daily yoga nidra experience. The instant I heard Jennifer’s soothing voice guide me into one of her Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra meditations I felt a shift. Slowly, daily, my subtle body systems began to open and I not only felt the pain of heartbreak, I was also able to feel the joy of healing. I began to sleep and eat regularly.

I felt calmness growing within me and I realized just how much grief had thrown me off balance. This Divine Sleep® experience re-directed my attention and I began to see a new path ahead. The path would include pain and sorrow, times of connection and loneliness, but also times of tremendous joy and gratitude.

This path, inspired through the introduction of Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra and Jennifer’s 40-hour training, led me to a new life as a yoga therapist, yoga instructor, and Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra guide … in so many ways, I’m so grateful for the life I had lost because it was necessary for the new life that I’ve built.

I’m grateful for the people who have traveled with me – the old friendships, re-defined friendships and new connections. I am grateful for those who helped to guide me here to my center and to a place where I can breathe again and live in the balance and gratitude for what everyday has to offer.

In fact, last year I attended a 40-hour Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Training as an assistant to Jennifer.  The time brought me back to the place of healing and renewal in a way I did not expect. I was reminded of the pain of divorce and realized I had been so lucky as to have found a space in the healing process to trust and love again. I was honored to be a even a small part of the space Jennifer holds for all those coming to her trainings. 

Witnessing the students question, become vulnerable and grow through the healing of the five Koshas was as beautiful to see unfold as it was to experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RJ is the founder of Lotus Seed Meditations working in private and small group settings as a yoga therapist and Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra guide to help those with autoimmune and chronic illness, pain and anxiety find a bit of rest and healing within a safe and held space. She resides with her new husband and two kittens in Chapel Hill, NC.