I was 38 and worried sick that Monday afternoon. The previous Friday, my husband of twelve years had texted to inform me he that he was canceling the three-day weekend that we had been planning. Instead, he was going to travel by himself to an undisclosed location for an indeterminate period of time.
Then, I heard nothing more from him. In the thick silence of the next three days, I went through all the emotions … disbelief, worry, grief, anger, bargaining with a God I did not normally pray to, grief, anger, bargaining, disbelief, and then more worry.
Those four simple words threw me so off balance. I thought our marriage was solid enough to weather any storm. And our love, forever. I entered into what I can only describe as a disembodied state.
In the year that followed, I went through the motions of living. I also dealt with lawyers and the slew of questions from others and the lack of answers from my husband. I was negotiating the end of one life while navigating the beginning of a new one. To say that I struggled is an understatement.
Countless sleepless nights, 30-lost pounds, and an unraveled career later, I took the advice of my 200-hour yoga teacher-training instructor and mentor and looked into a retreat at Kripalu. That led me to a yoga therapy certification – a journey where I not only met and built friendships with amazing people, I learned and… I began to heal.
I felt calmness growing within me and I realized just how much grief had thrown me off balance. This Divine Sleep® experience re-directed my attention and I began to see a new path ahead. The path would include pain and sorrow, times of connection and loneliness, but also times of tremendous joy and gratitude.
This path, inspired through the introduction of Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra and Jennifer’s 40-hour training, led me to a new life as a yoga therapist, yoga instructor, and Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra guide … in so many ways, I’m so grateful for the life I had lost because it was necessary for the new life that I’ve built.
In fact, last year I attended a 40-hour Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra Training as an assistant to Jennifer. The time brought me back to the place of healing and renewal in a way I did not expect. I was reminded of the pain of divorce and realized I had been so lucky as to have found a space in the healing process to trust and love again. I was honored to be a even a small part of the space Jennifer holds for all those coming to her trainings.
RJ is the founder of Lotus Seed Meditations working in private and small group settings as a yoga therapist and Divine Sleep® Yoga Nidra guide to help those with autoimmune and chronic illness, pain and anxiety find a bit of rest and healing within a safe and held space. She resides with her new husband and two kittens in Chapel Hill, NC.